Once my friend asked my opionion, “How to make someone grateful…”
It’s indeed very simple.
Just take out what’s precious from them and they’ll realize how grateful they are to have that precious thing before it’s taken from them (By taking out, I don’t mean to literally taking out. Just keep it away for a certain period of time).
For example, for a kid. His mom is really precious to him. She always takes care of him daily. Once she gets sick and can’t take care of him. He’ll feel grateful at that time.
Here’s a more scientific insight from my friend, Ellese.
Whenever we need to encourage a particular behavior, we can always use the Pavlovian conditioning of pleasure seeking and pain avoidance. Like what you were suggesting, relate to the kid the importance of being grateful of important things in life that he may be taking for granted i.e. the mum by taking it away temporary. That is pain avoidance. The kid learns to treasure whatever he has now that he’s been through the possible loss/pain.
The other way is to educate him on the pleasure part. Teach him what’s the benefits of being grateful… tell him stories of people who’ve been grateful and became so admirable that stories of them were passed down. Encourage them to learn from them. Sooner or later, such wonderful stories will be embedded in the subconscious, always reminding him the importance and benefits of being grateful.
You can use this tip to make your kid grateful.
To be honest, I’m experiencing it now. I’m grateful to my house servants and babysitter. Why? Because they all left for their annual vacation (we call it “mudik” in Indonesian, and all house servants are “mudik” now) and my wife and have to keep my house tidy ourselves, including washing clothes, watering the garden, and cooking.
I sure wish my Malaysian friend, Raymond Chua, to come and visit me. You know, since his hobby for stress relieving is cleaning!
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27 responses so far ↓
1 The Secret Law Of Attraction - Free Resource // Mar 4, 2008 at 13:35
2 Raymond // Oct 10, 2007 at 10:42
Oh man, my Aldian,
You want me to clean your house?
How about start with your bank account first
I can clean that very fast, especially with the power of interntet.
3 Aldian // Oct 10, 2007 at 10:55
Oh Raymond, not just cleaning, also watering the garden and washing the dishes, too
Anyway, it’s nice for a change, cleaning in Jakarta while taking a vacation
4 Raymond // Oct 10, 2007 at 11:12
Not a bad idea, Aldian.
Cleaning during vacation. Sounds good.
Do you provide air tickets, hotel, meals and transportation as well.
I’d love that.
Oh, and most important of all, a high speed internet connection too.
I’m willing to work 2 hours per day for you. (Cleaning, gardening and watering only)
Deal?
5 Aldian // Oct 10, 2007 at 12:09
Come on, only 2 hours a day?
High speed Internet connection is hard to fulfill… the fastest I can get on my DSL on average is 40 KB/s or 320 kbps. And that’s for download
For upload I only get 8 KB/s max or 64 kbps. Internet connection is sad here in Jakarta…
6 Raymond // Oct 10, 2007 at 12:27
2 hours is all I have.
Come on. I need to update my blog too, you see.
And reading emails, give comments, replying comments, do some social stuffs, reading other blogs, read books, forum, … etc.
Conclusion:
2 hours is the best deal.
7 Aldian // Oct 10, 2007 at 12:42
Wow, you’re very dedicated, Raymond!
8 Marta // Oct 10, 2007 at 13:29
Hi guys…
I like your conversation…that’s what I call effective negotiation…ha…ha…ha…:D
Aldian, is it Lebaran holiday now in Jakarta? No maid over there? In here, we have no maid at all times…:D I remember every time I go back there, there will be maid cooking meal for me, and also wash the dishes…in here, I am my own maid…doing multi-tasking…and don’t get paid…not yet at least…:D
Raymond, very nice negotiation…:D however I agree with Aldian, good internet connection is rare in Jakarta.
Marta
http://www.rmpwealth.com
9 Raymond // Oct 10, 2007 at 13:45
Dedicated? Have to
I know about the internet connection in Jakarta too. I wonder how Aldian bear with this.
If I stay in Jakarta, my garden will be very beautiful. (because of too much stress from the internet connection)
Oh, by the way, Aldian, do you mind to share how you release your stress in Jakarta? Like what you shared in the forum.
10 Aldian // Oct 10, 2007 at 13:48
Hi Marta,
Raymond surely drove a hard bargain
You may get better chance to get him to Sydney, after all you get much faster Internet connection there.
I know Marta. When I was studying in US I also could do anything myself… cooking, laundrying, cleaning… but now wow, got used to be served.
That’s why I said that I’m experiencing gratefulness because all of those pleasures are taken from me
11 Aldian // Oct 10, 2007 at 13:58
I also have 3G Internet connection. Its speed is almost double the DSL but too bad it gives me limited quota and it’s expensive.
You can read about my stress reliever here: http://blog.audiogettingrichscience.com/solve-problem-from-distance-using-law-of-attraction/
12 Goal Setting College // Oct 11, 2007 at 21:13
Aldian, thanks for the link. Glad to know that the tip helped and my, you’ve got a very active community here…
13 daiqianwen // May 13, 2008 at 20:47
Glad to know that the tip helped and my, you’ve got a very active community here
14 Bluetooth // Jul 1, 2008 at 17:41
I liked the idea of story-telling of those persons who have been grateful and hence admirable people.This can help one to teach his/her child to be very positive all the time indeed!
15 Paula // Jul 16, 2008 at 20:26
This post gave me an idea with my son, kinda getting hard for me to take things away from him because of the violent reaction that comes afterwards so maybe the positive reinforcement will help.
16 mike // Aug 30, 2008 at 1:02
thanks for the insite on your post, i really appreciate it.
17 Prevent Delinquency Project // Sep 6, 2008 at 21:50
Grateful children come from loving homes with parental attention and involvement. But still the use of sanctions and incentives (rewards for doing well rather than “just because”) also go a long way…
18 Kim Potter // Sep 13, 2008 at 12:56
Vacation whats that? Hope I can get one soon.
19 mmorpg // Sep 27, 2008 at 8:57
Yes…same works in relationships
. Once you show someone they might not have something their behavior quickly is changed.
20 Dora the explorer // Jul 21, 2009 at 14:55
I look forward to reading your future posts!
21 Deni // Jul 30, 2009 at 2:20
thanks for sharing
regard from Karawang
22 pandutir // Sep 17, 2009 at 20:47
we must bersyukutr to god for all the grace given, that we be given the anan-obedient children to parents
23 Jogos de Vestir // Nov 27, 2009 at 9:31
Thank you for your helpful information.
24 garden offices // Jun 9, 2010 at 17:13
From my experience, I can say that It is better if you teach them by using the appropriate words at the right times yourself. Get them involved in goodwill projects, where they have the opportunity to see and help others who are less fortunate. This will help put things in perspective in a powerful way.
25 asda online vouchers // Jul 2, 2010 at 13:32
Firs I’ll always taking care of his favourite things in all categories. Moreover behaviour of mine for his is very cheerful. Also I teach many important things about how leave life with happiness.
26 Suviel // Jul 12, 2010 at 7:31
i wonder if it is effective to make someone grateful by tellng them stories??
27 tooladd // Jul 21, 2010 at 15:27
in today’s society, every family only has one child.Please click my name to know more imformation.
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